So this is life..

God is great and God has brought me things that most people would die to have.  God has brought me health.  God regularly lets things into my life I couldn't be more thankful for.  Yet, for some unknown reason, I still don't know what to believe.  I feel that I've lived my life to the fullest.  I've sinned when it felt right.  I've prayed to God when I thought I'd done wrong, but sometimes I feel it was hollow.  

Was God really listening to my prayers?  Will he really forgive me?  How can a man who gets to stand at the front of the church tell me God will forgive me?  He has no clue what I've done.  He has no idea what I could do in the future.

I have trouble believing that a group of men can organize God's desires for mankind and create something good.  I have faith that people will read the bible and at least understand that sensible morals are something to live life by, but I don't think organized religion can do the things that practicing religion on you own can. 

I feel blessed that I've met a select few people in my life that have the same thoughts I have.  I thank God for those people and the security they have gave my mind.  And I thank you.